It’s Okay to Dread Mother’s Day this Year

It’s Okay to Dread Mother’s Day this Year

Yes it sucks that you were hoping to be pregnant by now and you’re not.

Yes it adds pressure that this holiday only comes around once a year.

Yes it’s hard to see others who have what you want (big belly +/or baby) being celebrated.

Yes there’s often a 2nd layer of shame, feeling like a jerk for being jealous of them.

Yes it’s compounded if you were pregnant and now you’re feeling empty rather than celebratory.

Dread comes in many forms.

Some related emotions include:

• Shame

• Abandonment

• Helpless

• Unworthy

• Anxiety

• Anger

• Exhaustion

Don’t pressure yourself to feel something else. Mother’s Day isn’t the time to be looking for the silver lining. I realize that may be unpopular advice.

Some may tell you to search for the bright side. But I’m here to say STAY AND LOOK HERE. Notice this feeling. Follow it.

Follow it like a thread…

Is it possible this dread isn’t as much about whether or not you’re pregnant or a mom yet, as it is about something that happened in the past? It’s okay if you don’t even know what it is. This feeling of dread is giving you access to emotions that got stored up somewhere along the way. By feeling them now, you can resolve them for good (so you don’t have to keep experiencing them). 

Are you open to doing that? 

If so, all I want you to do is focus on the space of your heart as you continue allowing the thoughts and feelings that don’t feel good. Put a hand on your chest to help you focus there. That’s it. 

Why? Without getting into the technical details, know that your heart is a powerful electromagnetic field generator (100K x more powerful than your mind). By focusing here, you are calling upon the natural power of your heart to filter out the gunk of the past as you are experiencing it now. 

In my coaching program I teach specific techniques and practices but you can begin right here and now. 

Bookmark this post and return to it each time something about Mother’s Day upsets you.

I’m not here to try and get you to think differently about Mother’s Day. Not being pregnant stinks. AND… 

What if not being pregnant yet is giving you time to heal and become someone you’re going to be SO grateful you became before you became a mom?

Are You Trying to Conceive After a Loss?

Are You Trying to Conceive After a Loss?

My story may offer hope…

Today is the anniversary of my family becoming a complete party of 4. (It’s my daughter’s birthday.)

After having a surprise cesarean birth with my 1st and then enduring 2 losses before conceiving again, I had a VBAC delivery with her. It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. 

Looking back I wonder how I had the courage to not opt for a surgical birth when my age and prior history of loss suggested we could be “high-risk”. 

And then I remember.

In the months prior to her conception and birth, amongst various other healing, grounding, self-loving activities, I had…

• planted a garden for the first time (occupying my mind w/learning about things other than pregnancy, and feeding myself evidence I capable of nurturing life)

• begun my own at home yoga + meditation practices (staying connected inwardly on a daily basis)

• taken measures to heal gut/fungal issues that had plagued my entire life (enhancing my overall wellbeing and nervous system load)

You may notice these were not fertility-focused activities specific to upping my chances of conceiving! They were measures that increased my vitality, overall balance/wellbeing and self-and connection, such that I could ask within and find answers to questions needing answers. 

THIS is how I got pregnant. I was able to conceive and have a relatively peaceful pregnancy and birth, DESPITE the lingering presence of uncertainty from the cesarean and losses I’d experienced. 

That stuff was still there, of course – it always will be – those experiences had simply been integrated into the story of my life, such that I was able to move forward writing it from a place of desire, not fear.

The uncertainty no longer had the power to sway me to doubt myself, because I was connected enough to hear from within what served me.

“The uncertainty no longer had the power to sway me to doubt myself, because I was connected enough to hear from within what served me.”

I kept going when things were dark and hard and scary and maddening, because I wanted to have 2 babies, and I wasn’t ready to give up. And now my world is lighter and easier and more fun and joyful, BECAUSE OF THE PATH I TOOK HERE.

So to my youngest daughter I will always be grateful, both for the honor and privilege of knowing her as her mother, and for the gift she gave me of knowing myself.

Can’t stop symptom-spotting during the two-week-wait?

Can’t stop symptom-spotting during the two-week-wait?

Of course it’s normal to be curious whether this will be your month!

The problem comes in when that curiosity shifts from excitement to stress, and no longer feels good. It feels more like you NEED it to happen.

You find yourself almost trying not to get your hopes up, and you think “what if there’s something wrong?” more times a day than you’d care to count.

THIS is where my fertility coaching comes in. It is the quickest path to motherhood. Yes, I realize that sounds like a sales technique but I promise with all my heart, my belief in this process comes from seeing these EXACT STEPS work over and over and over – in just 8 weeks – for so many women who were struggling to conceive. 

If you find yourself more anxious than excited, worried about the amount of time that’s passing, scrolling to get your mind off whether or not you’ll conceive this month, I’m here to support you.

The first thing you need to understand is I am not a fertility specialist. I am not a doctor who is going to tell you what to eat and which supplements to take and whether or not to take your basal body temperature or use OPKs or track your cervical mucus, or how often to have sex around ovulation or whether you should stand on your head for 10 minutes after doing the deed… 

That’s not what I’m good at and there are loads of resources out there with opinions on that stuff. 

What I AM good at is helping you understand yourself from a holistic perspective, so you can reconnect with yourself in such a way that having the family and life you dream of comes with ease, and quickly.

You already have everything you need to have the family and life you want. My job is to show you how. This is THE quickest way out of overwhelm and into motherhood.

Schedule a free Conception Accelerator Strategy session (phone chat) to learn more about private coaching today.

Losing Your Mind Tracking Ovulation and Pregnancy Symptoms?

Losing Your Mind Tracking Ovulation and Pregnancy Symptoms?

there’s another way…

I assumed when I went off birth control I’d get pregnant pretty quickly.

When it didn’t happen right away, within just a few months I started stressing. I talked to my OB/Gyn at my annual visit and FELT LIKE SHE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME (“Why was I worrying?” I was young enough, hadn’t been trying for more than a year, etc. they said.). I left feeling dismissed.

And so I started Googling and trying things the internet says may up the odds of conception. Before long, I was driving myself up the wall, timing and tracking things, taking supplements, putting my legs up after sex, etc…lots of things “just in case”. I didn’t even realize how much anxiety these activities were causing, because I was so focused on doing what I thought was necessary.

💥But there was something deeper at play.

The reason I didn’t feel supported by the OB was I was coming at this whole TTC thing from a place of fear. I WAS AFRAID I WASN’T DOING ENOUGH, that it wasn’t just going to HAPPEN for me, since it hadn’t happened in those first few months.

When I felt dismissed by my doc, it was because I wanted them to affirm I had something to worry about. I wanted them to tell me that putting in extra effort would get me to my goal faster. But they didn’t. Because it’s not necessarily true.

It wasn’t until I started doing the inner work to acknowledge the fear that I began doing what I actually NEEDED to do in order to conceive: Relax.

I know, that’s one of the most annoying things to hear when you’re TTC.

But it’s the only way, and I’m here to teach you HOW.

How to truly believe: “I’m going to have a baby. If more information is needed, I’ll know. I can relax.”

Can you imagine feeling that way? It’s 💯% possible.

The fact is, the more you DO, the more your nervous system stays on high alert. And when your nervous system is ramped up, your body is literally less capable of conceiving. It’s a simple fact of how humans are designed to survive.

When you learn to allow inner work to come first, and let go of whatever led you to believe it’s NOT OKAY to relax, doing less comes NATURALLY.

And so does having the family of your dreams.