Every culture has ideas it mistakes for truth. I believe one of ours is resilience.
We’ve normalized adaptations that helped us survive and
mistaken them for personality, strength, success, and resilience.
We've confused resilience with endurance.
Celebrated self-sacrifice as strength.
Praised people for making it work while quietly disconnecting from themselves.
My work explores what happens when we redefine resilience—not as becoming harder to break, but as becoming more deeply rooted in who we are so we can live freely and share our unique perspective with the world.
The Conversation
What if the most meaningful change doesn't begin with better habits — it begins with better questions? Questions like...
What if burnout isn't the problem?
What if perfectionism isn't your personality?
What if resilience has been misunderstood?
What if many of the strengths we admire are actually worn out survival patterns that outlived the circumstances that created them?
Through essays, reflections, and research, I explore the hidden ways outdated patterns shape our lives—and what becomes possible when we begin living from conscious choice instead.
These aren't articles about becoming a new version of yourself.
They're invitations to remember the version of your that learned to hide in order to belong, achieve, succeed, or be loved — to give yourself permission to have what you want without having ot work so damn hard to earn it.
What a failed past relationship has to do with your fertility
What a failed past relationship has to do with your fertility
Remember that relationship where you were devastated when it ended because you thought that person was “the one“? The one where you worked hard to stay together because you thought at the time it was meant to be?
If you had held onto that person, would you have met the love of your life? Would you now be with someone you’re hoping your baby will take after?
I ask this because we’ve all been there and, when we look back, we see how things had to go down exactly as they did for them to work out as they have now.
So…what if everything IS working out on your fertility journey? I know you wanted to be pregnant last month and it’s not frustrating to get your hopes up and then get your period. But what if it’s possible there are factors at play that are working FOR you even when it seems like they’re not? Just like that old relationship you wouldn’t go back to now if someone paid you $100K.
It can be so hard to trust that things are working out as they’re supposed to when we can’t see into the future.
I’m here to remind you your job is to keep your eye on that future and trust that it’s on its way BEFORE it happens, that the path there lies in spending your time in the feeling of that future NOW.
Try this to put it into practice (and then comment below w/your questions/observations):
Open the Notes app on your phone or grab a sheet of paper and write down 5 things you’re looking forward to about being pregnant and/or having a baby
For each, identify the emotion you’re looking forward to experiencing
Lastly, ask yourself: how can I experience those emotions in my life (exactly as it) TODAY?
(P.S. My private Conception Accelerator Coaching program supports you in going deep in the trust and releasing what gets in the way of staying there – set up a free Strategy Session if you want to empower yourself with a proven framework to get your positive pregnancy test.)
Wondering which fertility-boosting foods are right for you?
Wondering which fertility boosting foods are right for you?
One of my favorite comedians is coming into town. My life is so full at the moment between work and family and special events, logistics, meals and cleaning and… You get the idea, we’re all there in our own way.
So when I saw one of my favorite comedians was coming to town, I went pretty quickly from “yay!” to “I’m too tired to make that happen.” But then this little voice popped in my head and was like “wait a minute, I’m too exhausted from daily life and the things I do for others that I’m not going to make plans to go share some laughs with a friend?”
This is where the value of my daily self-connection practice comes in. It’s possible I am literally too tired, or logistically it would be too challenging or for whatever reason going to the show may not serve me. And that would be ok. When I make that decision from the place of allowing the possibility, it feels entirely different than if I simply say I can’t, I can’t go, which feels limiting. If I don’t go, it’s because I’m choosing not to go based on what feels best to me.
I started practicing this inward self- connection when I was trying to conceive. The Internet is full of “helpful“ advice on things women can do to up their odds each month.
Each of those things has the potential to be helpful, but we are each unique individuals and so what suits each of us best is relative. Only you can determine which activities will feel good to you. And that should be the only filter when determining what supports your TTC goals —does this feel supportive? If so, great! If not, skip it.
Your ability to make that determination comes from intentionally practicing self connection on an ongoing basis, not just when a decision needs to be made. I’m here to give you the exact steps to build that practice for yourself. Schedule a free chat learn more.
(P.S.this is also the type of stuff we talk about in my free Reconnecting with your Fertility community. Be sure to join if you aren't already a member!)
It’s Okay to Dread Mother’s Day this Year
It’s Okay to Dread Mother’s Day this Year
Yes it sucks that you were hoping to be pregnant by now and you’re not.
Yes it adds pressure that this holiday only comes around once a year.
Yes it’s hard to see others who have what you want (big belly +/or baby) being celebrated.
Yes there’s often a 2nd layer of shame, feeling like a jerk for being jealous of them.
Yes it’s compounded if you were pregnant and now you’re feeling empty rather than celebratory.
Dread comes in many forms.
Some related emotions include:
Shame
Abandonment
Helpless
Unworthy
Anxiety
Anger
Exhaustion
Don’t pressure yourself to feel something else. Mother’s Day isn’t the time to be looking for the silver lining. I realize that may be unpopular advice.
Some may tell you to search for the bright side. But I’m here to say STAY AND LOOK HERE. Notice this feeling. Follow it.
Follow it like a thread…
Is it possible this dread isn’t as much about whether or not you’re pregnant or a mom yet, as it is about something that happened in the past? It’s okay if you don’t even know what it is. This feeling of dread is giving you access to emotions that got stored up somewhere along the way. By feeling them now, you can resolve them for good (so you don’t have to keep experiencing them).
Are you open to doing that?
If so, all I want you to do is focus on the space of your heart as you continue allowing the thoughts and feelings that don’t feel good. Put a hand on your chest to help you focus there. That’s it.
Why? Without getting into the technical details, know that your heart is a powerful electromagnetic field generator (100K x more powerful than your mind). By focusing here, you are calling upon the natural power of your heart to filter out the gunk of the past as you are experiencing it now.
In my coaching program I teach specific techniques and practices but you can begin right here and now.
Bookmark this post and return to it each time something about Mother’s Day upsets you.
I’m not here to try and get you to think differently about Mother’s Day. Not being pregnant stinks. AND…
What if not being pregnant yet is giving you time to heal and become someone you’re going to be SO grateful you became before you became a mom?
Are You Trying to Conceive After a Loss?
Are You Trying to Conceive After a Loss?
My story may offer hope…
Today is the anniversary of my family becoming a complete party of 4. (It’s my daughter’s birthday.)
After having a surprise cesarean birth with my 1st and then enduring 2 losses before conceiving again, I had a VBAC delivery with her. It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life.
Looking back I wonder how I had the courage to not opt for a surgical birth when my age and prior history of loss suggested we could be “high-risk”.
And then I remember.
In the months prior to her conception and birth, amongst various other healing, grounding, self-loving activities, I had…
planted a garden for the first time (occupying my mind w/learning about things other than pregnancy, and feeding myself evidence I capable of nurturing life)
begun my own at home yoga + meditation practices (staying connected inwardly on a daily basis)
taken measures to heal gut/fungal issues that had plagued my entire life (enhancing my overall wellbeing and nervous system load)
You may notice these were not fertility-focused activities specific to upping my chances of conceiving! They were measures that increased my vitality, overall balance/wellbeing and self-and connection, such that I could ask within and find answers to questions needing answers.
THIS is how I got pregnant. I was able to conceive and have a relatively peaceful pregnancy and birth, DESPITE the lingering presence of uncertainty from the cesarean and losses I’d experienced.
That stuff was still there, of course – it always will be – those experiences had simply been integrated into the story of my life, such that I was able to move forward writing it from a place of desire, not fear.
The uncertainty no longer had the power to sway me to doubt myself, because I was connected enough to hear from within what served me.
“The uncertainty no longer had the power to sway me to doubt myself, because I was connected enough to hear from within what served me.”
I kept going when things were dark and hard and scary and maddening, because I wanted to have 2 babies, and I wasn’t ready to give up. And now my world is lighter and easier and more fun and joyful, BECAUSE OF THE PATH I TOOK HERE.
So to my youngest daughter I will always be grateful, both for the honor and privilege of knowing her as her mother, and for the gift she gave me of knowing myself.