Pregnancy and the Impact of Past Abuse or Trauma

What No One Talks About But You Deserve to Know

You’ve done everything right. And yet it feels like you’re always doing something wrong.

You’ve tracked your menstrual cycle, taken the supplements, followed your doctor’s advice, eaten all the “fertility-friendly” foods. You’re healthy, successful, and on paper there’s no reason you shouldn’t be pregnant by now.

And yet…month after month, the pregnancy test is still negative.

It’s hard not to wonder: What’s wrong with me?

Here’s what I want you to know: there’s nothing wrong with you. But there may be something from your past quietly influencing your present.

The truth is, conception isn’t just about having the right egg and sperm meet at the right time. It’s also about your body and nervous system feeling safe enough to say yes to pregnancy.

If trauma of the past—whether little t or Big T, whether you consciously think about it or not—still lives in your body, it creates an invisible block. This isn’t weakness. It’s simply how the body protects itself.

Sometimes, unresolved feelings from when you were younger and childhood trauma resurface in adulthood, in surprising ways. And pregnancy can stir deep layers of memory and emotion you didn’t even know were still there. That’s why trauma in pregnancy, or even before pregnancy, can be the missing piece that no amount of “doing everything right” can fix—until it’s healed.

This is the part no one talks about. But it’s the part that changes everything.

Why Do These Memories Come Back in Pregnancy?

You’re not imagining things.

Memories you haven’t thought about in years. Feelings you thought you worked through. Patterns you thought you had outgrown. They start circling back—and it’s terrifying.

You might be wondering: Why now? Why does this old stuff suddenly feel so alive again?

Because preparing to become a mother doesn’t just awaken your body—it awakens your inner child.

Your subconscious knows what it means to carry a child, and it remembers what it felt like to be one. That’s why pregnancy and PTSD often go hand in hand—even if you’ve never had a diagnosis or your experiences may not categorically .

If you’re trying to get pregnant with emotional baggage or starting to feel repressed memories coming back as you try to conceive, it’s your nervous system waving a flag: “Let’s clear this out before we bring a baby into the world.”

And here’s what’s essential to realize: the emotions that are surfacing now aren’t random. They’re poking at the unresolved experiences from your past—the times you felt you had to work hard to have your needs or desires met, when you were never perfect enough no matter what, when you had to put on a happy face and hide your pain because it felt too vulnerable to share.

Maybe you learned early on that trusting others with your truth was risky, or that showing “weakness” meant you’d be met with judgment instead of genuine support. Those old patterns still live inside you, even if you’ve long buried the memories.

The good news? What’s happening now, as uncomfortable as it feels, is actually an invitation. It’s your chance to access and clear this energy once and for all.

When you resolve it, the past no longer has power over you. You’ll be able to lead your life from a place of wholeness—free to conceive, nurture new life, and grow your family in a way that’s authentically you.

Without this healing, even if you do conceive, you may find yourself constantly battling the fear of recreating your childhood. No one tells you how much time parenting can be spent trying not to repeat what you didn’t like about your own upbringing—but without knowing what “not that” actually looks like.

Through this work, you reconnect with yourself in such a profound way that you can hear and trust your internal voice. You won’t need to control every outcome—you’ll be able to allow, embrace, and even enjoy the ups and downs of life and parenthood.

How to Deal with Trauma While Trying to Get Pregnant

There’s a reason traditional fertility treatments don’t always work. Because trauma is held in the body. And if your body is still carrying the weight of old pain, it doesn’t feel safe enough to say yes to pregnancy.

This doesn’t mean you’re doomed. It means you need support—not just from a doctor, but from someone who can show you how to untangle emotional trauma and create space for new life.

This is the deep work we do together in my fertility coaching program. It’s not just about how to cope with past trauma or manage having flashbacks from childhood. It’s about transforming the relationship you have with your story, your body, and your power.

When you learn how to respond to unresolved emotions from your past, not with shame, but with compassion, you stop letting the past run the show.

When you heal the effects of emotional trauma on fertility—even before you conceive—you’re not just preparing for motherhood. You’re reclaiming the version of you who was always worthy of ease, joy, safety, and feeling content in life.

This is the work. And yes, it’s deep. But it’s also the greatest liberation you’ll ever feel. And you get to pass that along to your child.

You Can Be empower yourself to be Free—and to Be a Mom

It’s okay if you’ve spent months or years trying everything, pulling your hair out, and are just now realizing that what’s holding you back isn’t a diagnosis but unhealed energy. That awareness is the first step and deserves to be celebrated! (Give yourself a hug!)

You are not your trauma. You are not your parents. You are not your past.

And you don’t have to carry it any longer.

You can heal. You can reconnect with the part of you who still believes in this dream! You can become the mother you know you’re meant to be—one who leads from power, not pain.

Let’s talk about how.

👉 Schedule a free Conception Strategy Session here to explore your unique story, and how we’ll work together to gently (but powerfully) break you free from what’s been holding you back.