Everyone Is Pregnant But Me: Navigating Pregnancy Envy
Everyone Is Pregnant But Me: Navigating Pregnancy Envy
Let’s get real: When you’re trying to conceive, pregnancy envy can feel like it’s everywhere. Your best friend is pregnant. Your coworker posts her gender reveal. Another friend’s pregnancy announcement hits your feed before you’ve even had your morning coffee.
And you? You’re sitting there wondering: “Why do I want to be pregnant so bad?” Followed closely by: “Why is getting pregnant so hard for me when it’s so easy for everyone else?”
If you’ve caught yourself jealous of a pregnancy, or spiraling after yet another pregnant friend’s big news, you’re not a bad person. You’re human.
It’s normal to feel a gut punch when you see someone else with the very thing you’re working so hard to create. It’s normal to feel sadness, frustration, anger, or even resentment—especially if you’ve been silently wishing on pregnancy month after month and nothing’s happening.
But here’s the part no one talks about: The problem isn’t the pregnancy jealousy itself. The problem is what you make it mean about you.
What is Pregnancy Envy?
Pregnancy envy happens when someone else’s success in getting pregnant kicks up your own unmet desire—and the painful fear that maybe it’s just never going to happen for you.
It can sound like:
“I must not be doing enough.”
“There’s something wrong with me.”
“I have to work harder than everyone else.”
“If I were worthy, I’d be pregnant by now too.”
“I’m a terrible friend for feeling this way.”
Sound familiar? That spiral is actually the biggest thief of your power—not the best friend’s pregnancy, not the friend’s pregnancy announcement, and not the fact that your feed is full of pregnant friends.
Here’s the truth: Envy is not a sign you’re broken. It’s a sign you have a desire that matters. That’s all.
The trick is learning how to keep the desire alive without letting it morph into fear, scarcity, or self-judgment. Because the moment you let jealousy of pregnancy turn into “There’s something wrong with me,” you disconnect from the very energy that helps create what you want.
Where Does Pregnancy Envy Come From?
Let’s talk about the root of this whole thing.
When you’re deep in your TTC journey, there’s a special kind of heartbreak that hits when it feels like everyone is pregnant but me.
You start to ask questions like:
“Why is everyone pregnant and I’m not?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“What’s wrong with my body?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
If you’ve experienced the emotional impact of infertility or pregnancy envy after miscarriage, the stakes can feel even higher.
Your nervous system gets wired into survival mode: You’re not just grieving a pregnancy journey that isn’t going the way you hoped—you’re also battling old stories from your past. Stories like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I have to work harder to be worthy.
“If I’m not perfect, I don’t get what I want.”
So of course someone else’s success can feel like proof that you’re failing. But it’s not. Their path is not your path.
Your job isn’t to replicate what worked for someone else. Your job is to honor your own unique process, to stay connected to your desire, and to trust that your journey will unfold the way it’s meant to.
How to Deal with Pregnancy Envy
Here’s where your real power kicks in.
Learning how to cope with jealousy in friendships and how to deal with envy isn’t about forcing yourself to “think positive” or pretending you don’t care. It’s about knowing how to work with your own mind, body, and spirit in a way that feels real—not performative.
And I get it. I’ve been exactly where you are.
Both of my daughters came after my own messy, heartbreaking, transformative fertility journey—complete with pregnancy losses, gut-wrenching comparison, and those raw moments where it felt like everyone was pregnant but me.
I know what it’s like to cry in the bathroom after a friend’s pregnancy announcement while silently wondering if you’re ever going to get your turn. I also know what it takes to get out of that loop without abandoning yourself.
This is why I do the work I do now—because it’s not enough to just “stay positive.” You need real tools to move through the triggers, break free from the lies that keep you stuck, and reconnect with your own magic.
That’s where your power is.
Here’s how you start:
1. Catch the envy in real-time.
If you notice the pregnancy envy rising up, pause. No shame. Just awareness.
“This is envy. It’s normal. And I get to decide what I do with it.”
2. Feel your disappointment AND your desire.
It’s okay to be sad it hasn’t happened for you—yet. It’s okay to want to throw your phone across the room after another friend's pregnancy post. But here’s what I’ll help you practice: letting those feelings move through you without letting them build a home in you. Grieve, and then shift back into trust. Let their pregnancy remind you of your desire—not of your “failure.”
3. Learn what you can—without throwing yourself under the bus.
It’s smart to ask: “Is there anything about their pregnancy journey I can learn from?” But it’s equally smart to remember that your path is yours. Not everything that works for someone else will work for you—and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re forging your own way.
4. Practice feeling now how you think you’ll feel when it happens.
This is the part most people skip—and it’s the key to manifestation. If you’re stuck in fear, stress, and shame, you’re cutting off the very energy that helps you create life. When you can reconnect to how you want to feel, before the positive test shows up, you change everything.
5. Get support that actually works.
If you’re wondering how to deal with infertility when everyone is getting pregnant or how to cope with waiting when everyone is pregnant, you don’t need another pep talk. You need someone who can hold space for the real, raw parts AND help you break up with the BS stories that are keeping you small.
That’s exactly what I do as a holistic fertility coach. I help high-achieving women like you work with the old wounds this journey brings up—so you’re not just coping, you’re actually healing, expanding, and creating the life (and the family) you want.
Ready to Stop Letting Envy Run the Show?
You’re allowed to want this. You’re allowed to be human and messy along the way. And you’re allowed to get support that actually moves the needle and accelerates your progress.
If you’re ready to shift from stuck and spiraling into powerful and grounded, let’s talk.
Book your free Conception Strategy Session and let’s map out your next steps—together.